The great philosopher Karl Popper espoused the concept of Conjectures and Refutations, of coming up with an idea, then criticizing it, both sides holding their own until proven false, of a back and forth process that directs us to the truth. So, criticism is important. Then, how come it’s so bothersome when directed towards us?
Each week for my non-fiction writing course, I spend my few free hours writing a piece, thinking it's pretty good, only to have it criticized by our teacher, a guy with three thousand published pieces. I realize that I have much to learn and that I’m actually paying him to give me his honest, unabashed comments. But his remarks still shake me up and make me wonder if my writing has anything to offer at all. Then, after a few days, I shrug it off, get back on the saddle and work on the next assignment. And I think of the stories of rejection I’ve read about and know that a successful writer needs to toughen up and forge ahead no matter what.
Not all criticism is true, but true criticism is valuable.
I suppose the way to toughen up is to set an intention to acquire, over time, the sense of having a professional boundary between you (a person of worth) and your little black squiggles on the page.
ReplyDeleteIn toastmasters, where we are vulnerable and not professionals, we give only a little negative criticism (and lots of positive) so as not to overwhelm. A speech is fleeting but a manuscript can be learned from at leisure.
At college the drama students talked about something after class once. They were learning to be professionals. And one day the director yelled at a girl on stage, yelled for emphasis, not at her whole person. And she shrank and said, "I'm sorry." And then he really YELLED, his loudest yell of the semester, to make sure that all the students understood, "You are never sorry!" ... Professionals don't shrink, they apply all their energy to using feedback. They don't take any work related feedback personally.
At a dojo all receive bows because all are worthy of working on their art. All bow as they enter the dojo because they are humble to something bigger than themselves. When I am humble I cannot be hurt. (I try to remember this when I am facilitating a big meeting.)
Someday I will do an essay and a speech on criticism. Thank you for getting me to generate thoughts about this topic.... Say, unless you hear otherwise, best to assume that your editor is being as impersonal and respectfull as a Teacher, fellow artist, in the dojo.
Good points. Feedback, positive and negative, helps us advance. If we avoid it, we miss a valuable resource. It's also vital to learn to screen out the valid from the invalid critique. So, to hang in there, assess the feedback, then take what is useful.
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